EP 65

Christi: Welcome to the smiling at the future podcast. My name is Christi Rose and this is my pursuit to clean practical. Wisdom on femininity homemaking, finances relationships, and singleness from the God-fearing men and women in my life. Hope you enjoy this journey with me as we learn to smile at the future. Hello everyone. We are back and launching into the new year with a mic dropping interview with Darrell, Harrison of the just thinking podcast.

Christi: But before that, just a few preliminary details, you are invited to send your ideas for topics and questions you would like to hear wisdom on to the email smiling at the future podcast at gmail.com. You can also submit any questions to the Instagram page as well, which you may or may not still follow After the conviction sets in from this episode and that is our segue. We are going to discuss how to walk wisely in the area of social media and entertainment choices. Darrell Harrison is not only a prominent podcaster, but he is also a Biblical counsellor and manages the social media for Grace to You, the preaching Ministry of John MacArthur. He is very qualified to speak into this issue. So here is Daryl. Darrell it is an honor to have you on the smiling at the future podcast today.

Christi: And most of the listeners will be familiar with you already. But for those meeting you for the first time, would you introduce yourself and the podcast that you co-host?

Darrell: Well, first of all, thank you Christi, you know, as I hear your voice on the other end of my headphones, I’m just again, just so appreciative that you’ve hung in there with me because we have been trying to get this done for months but you just been incredibly patient with my frenetic schedule. So first of all, I just want to thank you for hanging in there with me. We’re finally together to record this episode of your podcast.

Darrell: So yeah. So first things first, in my day job I like to say, I am digital platforms director at the grace to you which is a Ministry of the media Ministry of dr. John MacArthur. So that’s my day job but what I’m not doing that. I’m a co-host of the just thinking podcast along with my partner in crime Virgil Walker who’s on the east coast in my hometown of Atlanta. I’m here in the west coast in Southern California. So yeah, so co-host of the just thinking podcast which, which I love doing with Virgil and so yeah, so those are the two hats that I wear if you want to put it that way.

Christi: Well, I really appreciate your podcast. It’s a long form, typically, you know, two plus hours per episode. But you and Virgil, you don’t take it lightly you. Study well for each topic and do a lot of research. And reading before you try to share the wisdom and you do a wonderful job, it’s entertaining. You both are hilarious and and you tell you cover, practical life topics to you’ve covered things like perfectionism and anxiety and fear and so just encourage listeners of this podcast to go and look at what you’ve done with Virgil and I know they’ll be encouraged but with your ex expertise in just the area of social media, you use that platform that Avenue. So well for the glory of God if anyone follows you on Instagram or Twitter they’re going to come away edified and just loving the scriptures, more loving the Lord more.

Christi: And so you were just in my mind a very natural fit for the topic of social media and then kind of we are throwing in entertainment because it’s in a similar category. Some of the things we have to think through, and I think it’s just a topic that has huge ramifications, we all interact with this daily and we sometimes spend hours participating in social media entertainment that area of life. And I think some of it is very mindless we just kind of had developed habits without even being aware of what we’re doing. So we’re going to talk through a lot of those things. Go into the deeper heart. Issues behind some of these things and how can we change and how come we glorify God.

Christi: So first question today we’re going to first start with social media for those who are frustrated, maybe with the downsides of social media and are thinking about just completely getting rid of their profiles on Instagram, Facebook, all those platforms, what are reasons? People should consider staying on those sites or should we get rid of them?

Darrell: Yeah, that’s a great question. You know, let me just say the top, it’s not such a bad idea to get rid of your social media accounts. I mean, it just depends on a variety of things that some of those things will touch on in our conversation today. But with respect to frustration and being frustrated with the downsides of social media, I think that first depends on how someone would Define what a downside is.

Darrell: There should be context to how we use social media and what I mean by context is that we shouldn’t look at our use of social media as if we’re using it. It in a vacuum. As if there were no purpose or real meaningful use of it or intention of you sort of alluded that to that in your opening question. I think it’s Christians every everything we do in life. Including how we use social media should be done to the glory of God? I mean, that’s First Corinthians. 10:31, matter of fact that verse serves as the mission statement for the just thinking podcast First Corinthians 10:31, everything you do. You should do to the glory of God.

Darrell: Now, I think the frustration comes in When we use social media with no Biblical context, or purpose in mind. And I think you really hit on something very important when you talk about how we tend to use social media apart from a state of mindfulness about how we’re using it. And consequently, when that happens, we find ourselves operating in our flesh, as opposed to being led by the spirit of God. That’s Galatians 5:16. That we are to walk by the spirit. And in doing that, you will not carry out the desire of the flesh.

Darrell: So I think that’s a very important consideration to remember what you said earlier, cases that we do sort of mindlessly robotically, sort of, you know, just reactionary instinctively. We login into these social media accounts with logout of them as if by rote, but I think for the professing Christian, with respect to good reasons to stay on those platforms, I think using social media in the Text of Paul’s exultation in First Corinthians start, 1031 is really the only good reason to be on any social media platform to begin with a great for the Christian. And that’s just my opinion. That is again to use those platforms to the glory of God. That is the only good reason only good biblical reason to be on any social media platform.

Darrell: Now, how we live that out can vary from person to person. So how 1st Corinthians 10:31 and glorifying God, how that is? Bearded demonstrated on social media that can vary by person to person. However, there are going to be downsized to anything that involves our interaction with other centers. I mean, this is, this is that’s, that’s just, that’s the reality, that’s just it. And that’s precisely the case with social media.

Darrell: With social media, we need to remember that we are engaging with other centers and other centers are engaging with us as other Center. So we’re engaging with other centers and with the content that they produce, so we are Engaging with all of that, we know that nothing that we really do inherently is perfectly done with pure motives, there’s remaining sin with us and that, that remaining sin taints to varying degrees everything that we touch. So, as I’ve often said, we should expect centers to sin including on social media and that sinfulness unfortunately, can often hit you in the face even when you’re not looking for and that’s one of the biggest downsides as far as I’m concerned.

Darrell: When it comes to social media, you could just be on social media, minding your own business, you’re just browsing perusing, your not even posting or anything like that and then boom, you get, you’ve got something of a sinful nature or construct or context to it. Just hits you out of nowhere and I don’t need to give examples of that, but there are many and the downsides are practically innumerable. And again, by downsize, what? I’m speaking of specifically is sinful images were It’s and behaviors that we encounter from the plethora of social media platforms that are in existence and available to us today.

Darrell: So again downsize, yes there are and there are reasons to stay on social media. However, I think and we’ll talk about this in a second, but I don’t think it’s inherently a bad thing to not be on social media because social media, as it continues to grow and expand and become normative in our daily. Lives as individuals and families especially with the proliferation of Smart Technologies and whatnot. Social media has been used to open doors of sinful, behaviors and consequences that previously were not open so we need to keep that in mind as well.

Christi: Yeah, and it’s becoming increasingly less social. It’s very much something that you do in isolation. So people want to stay connected with their friends and loved ones. But a lot of these platforms have to Turned into rather than keeping up with friends, there’s advertisements or they’re feeding you information. So yeah, I think there’s a lot of wisdom areas that you need to navigate by just understand that it is a very isolating activity. It’s better on my opinion to have face-to-face interactions with people call them text them individually. If you’re wanting to use those platforms as a way to connect with others, even like Marco Polo. Or that some of those apps where you can actually do video exchanges with people. And you can even do groups of friends that way. But if you’re trying to, if you’re thinking about social media as a way for you to stay connected with people, it’s becoming harder and harder to do that well, on those platforms. So, I don’t know if you have any thoughts on that point but yeah,

Darrell: I was out just follow up really quickly. I think what you’re talking about there. There was at one time, an innocence to it, you know, you can go all the way. Back to, you know, the instant messaging days with AOL and you know, and then progress towards, where we are now with Facebook, Instagram, Twitter to talk and the like, and in the in that sort of Innocence age that Age of Innocence, if you will, social media was more of a pole, technology mean you would go out, you would, you know, establish these accounts for the sole purpose of pulling information from those people to friends or family. That you wanted to be connected with, you want to see what was going on with them. And it was pretty much that was almost exclusively exclusively how those platforms were used.

Darrell: But now again, just to piggyback on what you said earlier, these platforms have become more of a push technology there. Push platforms that have agendas attached to them, so they’re pushing you information, they’re pushing you content with the sole objective of trying to influence and help shape your world view and inform how you think. Think not just how you think, but what to think. So there’s been sort of a decline in the any erosion of the Innocence that was once was there with these platforms and the way they are today given their their mission, their they’re sort of intentionality, that’s behind the information that they push out to you. There’s a degree of caution that you need to lend to these platforms that perhaps you didn’t have to to apply in those initial years.

Christi: Yeah, and I think that you have to come to the platforms with a humility and understanding how these sites work and how they, the algorithms are powerful, they feed you certain content that they think you’re interested in or based on other people, similar to you, what those people click on next and what they’re interested in. And so sometimes you can see people getting into what I would like to think of as digital silos. They think everyone thinks the way they think because that’s all they’re seeing on their social media where it’s really these algorithms that are just feeding that person all of this information based on what they think they want to see and so you can have a skewed perspective on reality and you can think we’ll why doesn’t anyone else? See what I’m seeing or why aren’t they concerned about this where, you know, someone else might not be seeing all those videos of Q and on or something and you can See people go down these dangerous rabbit trails and conspiracy theories based on what the sites are promoting to them. So just being aware of that and having ways that you protect yourself against getting sucked into those digital silos. I think is a helpful thing to remember.

Darrell: I agree, I totally agree. Great point.

Christi: So what are your recommendations before you post something on social media? Do you have things that you think through that? Yeah, just wisdom principles that you apply before you post.

Darrell: Yeah, actually there are a few Christi. There’s three to be exact and an initial step that I try to think through before posting on social media is number one to take an inventory of my own heart. What I mean by that is that I want to step. I can think through what it is, I wanted to post and whether the comments that I intend to say, are from a pure, meaning Godly, I always want to take some time to assess. That is it from a pure or Godly motive, or is it merely to bring attention or to absolve myself? That’s number one, that’s always at the top. We know that God hates Pride. God. Hates all Pride, even if it’s In a tweet or Instagram or Facebook post. God hates all pride of any kind.

Darrell: So the first thing I try to do is to conduct a heart check of myself to determine if. In fact, what I wanted to post is being done from from right Motors and I say that, in light of the injunction that we find in Proverbs 4:23, which to watch over your heart with all diligence for from it flow, the Springs of Life. So, even when you’re on social media, you need to watch over your heart with all diligence matter. That before you log in, before you post anything, you need to recall, Proverbs 4:23 and prayerfully. Ask the Lord to help you watch over your heart with diligence because you don’t want to say anything. Post, anything, share anything with wrong motives. So that’s number one.

Darrell: And secondly, assuming that I passed the test of Step 1. I try to give thoughtful consideration to how I want to say. I want to say and how tightly and succinctly, I can say it. So, for example, my own personal social media footprint, I’m more active on Twitter than any other platform. I have accounts, I have an account on Facebook. I have an account on Instagram, but I’m more active on Twitter than any of those other platforms. So, given that on Twitter, you have a 260 character character limit. I try to be very thoughtful in how I want to say, what it is. I want to say and how tightly you can I say. It.

Darrell: So I was reading an article recently that said that the average person the average person they don’t Define average, but they said that the average person has an attention span of about eight point two, five seconds about eight point eight and a quarter s which is 4 seconds fewer than it was in the year 2000. I mean, think about that. So in the year 2000, the average attention span was 12.25 seconds. Now it’s down to only eight point two five, Hands and I think social media has a lot to do with that. Social media has become such a crutch for us. It’s where we get pretty much all of our knowledge base is now much of our knowledge base now is so greatly informed by social media, and social media is so visual in a lot of ways. But if you don’t capture a person’s attention, visually chances are, they’re not going to read just text, something that’s typed out and text with no graphic. Visual reference point to draw their attention to but I just thought that was incredible. The attention spans, only eight point two, five seconds.

Darrell: So and according to the now, listen to this. Also, according to the website Broadband search dotnet, the average person will spend six years and eight months of their life on social media. Unbelievable. When I saw that statistic, so let’s say, on average you live to be 70 years old. By the time you die, you will have spent ten percent of your life on social media. So it’s with that. Thought in mind that I try to be as tight, and it’s concise and what I want to say as possible. So, that was number two.

Darrell: And then, lastly, thirdly, I try to be patient and what I mean by that, is that as I’m composing, whatever it is that I want to say, I try to take the time to ensure that I’m using the clearest most non confusing. Most unambiguous verbiage I can. So that’s a thought I’m trying to get across during those eight point two five seconds and also to ensure that my spelling and grammar are correct and precise. I want to take that time to do that. I want to be patient. Oftentimes we can be so excited about chiming in on a subject or issue that were in such a hurry to make our opinions known to other people.

Darrell: We end up making typos and grammatical errors and only end up either deleting or repost in the comment or if you’re a subscriber to Twitter blue you could edit it now but sometimes you just end up leaving it alone, just deleting it and not reposting it at all. So that’s what I mean by being patient. You know, don’t don’t get so hyped up about what you want to say. Because you think you might be right, or yeah. You might be trying to get back at someone all. Yeah, I’m gonna, I’m gonna get him or get her for what they said, or whatever, you know. Just again goes back to number one. You want to test your Motors first but yeah, be patient. Sit back and say, hey as you type out your post make sure you’re using your using as the tightest language.

Darrell: Then verb is that you can get it as succinct and concise as possible. And then also take the time to double check for typos or grammatical errors, make sure using punctuation properly and things like that because I think on social media people can be very Judgmental and to whatever extent you want to put forth a Godly witness. You want, you want to make sure that your you’ve got all those elements involved there but especially someone will call out a typo in a split second and that can be very frustrating sometimes.

Christi: Yeah, I love that that principle and I think that applies to so many areas of life being patient even before making a purchase or even saying something to somebody else in the moment, when the emotions are high Hi. You can say things that you’ll regret saying and so what if you give it time and let it settle and sleep on it is always a good principle. Wait till the next day before you, you post something that might give you a little more of an objective view, rather than In the Heat of the Moment.

Christi: I thought it was really helpful. Darrell how you brought out the attention span, how that is diminishing? And I’ve even noticed that just in myself and how frequently I’m picking up my phone. Phone and looking at something or getting distracted, I’ll be in the middle of something and then be pulled into my phone or not able to complete tasks all the way through. I’m just kind of flipping from one thing to the next so easily. And so, I think we’re starting to train our rewire, our thinking, and our brains to do that.

Christi: And I think the biggest downside is that it is hurting our communication with people and our relationship with the Lord, because we’re not able to sit and meditate for long periods of Time on who God is and to worship him that way. So being aware of how how to fix that or how to help yourself in that way. I don’t know. I don’t know what the solution is other than just limiting time on social media and how often you use your phone. Kind of stepping back from that is probably going to be helpful.

Christi: So social media it is designed to be addicting, the science behind it. They know how People form habits, they know how to keep people on these platforms. There’s a whole art form to it. So how do you recommend that people limit their time on these platforms?

Darrell: Yeah. So fantastic question. I think, you know, your sort of Preparatory comments leading up to that question or a great segue into talking about that. You know, and I really appreciate your transparency Christi and talking about how you know you you’ve even Nuys perhaps that you’re being trained to sort of, you know, glance at your phone and you even to the degree that it distracts you from completing other maybe even more important tasks in your own life. And you know what you’re really talking about is self-discipline fundamentally, that’s what we’re talking about here. So the question of, you know, how what I recommend in terms of people living their time on those platforms, I have one recommendation and that is self-discipline. That’s my one. Recommendation, you know, John MacArthur our boss, right?

Darrell: John MacArthur, he wrote A Blog article that can be found in the grace to you website, and is titled learning self discipline. And in that blog article, dr. MacArthur wrote this. He said, quote self-discipline is important in any Endeavor of life. It’s best defined as the and listen to. This definition is best defined as the ability to regulate one’s conduct by hi, principal and sound judgment rather than by impulse desire or social custom. I love that definition of I’m going to finish the quote don’t want to go back to that definition But continuing to quote John MacArthur he’s he says biblically self-discipline may be summarized in one word obedience to exercise self discipline is to avoid Evil by staying within the bounds of God’s law unquote.

Darrell: I thought that was a amazing. Comment by dr. MacArthur especially, that definition that he gave of self-discipline. He says, it’s the ability to regulate one’s conduct. I think that’s the key phrase there. So you want, if you want to avoid becoming addicted to social media platforms, you need to practice self discipline towards the goal of being able to regulate your conduct by principle and sound judgment. I did a quick study on that word addicted, and I saw that It appears in scripture only three times twice in 1st Timothy 3 in verses 3 and 8 and then once and Titus Chapter 1 verse 7, that word is the Greek active pero ahora NOS that’s PA. R 0i n OS Poirot knows which translated is the same word as what it means to be drunk.

Darrell: So, biblically speaking to be addicted to social media is to be no different than the person who gives a drunk with wine or some other form. Alcohol. The irony here though. Christi is that for some of the same reasons that a person may turn to alcohol because they’re lonely or they think they need some sort of mental or psychological Outlet or want to maintain a connection with family or friends over long distances and stay abreast of what’s going on with them for those same reasons. People also turned to social media.

Darrell: But in the same way though, in the same way as group that scripture warns us against not being drunk with wine, Wind and again remember there’s no Prohibition in God’s word against drinking wine. The prohibition is not to get drunk, okay? But in the same way that scripture talks about not getting drunk with wine, it’s the same with social media. It’s fine to use social media. We’re simply not to become inebriated with it. You see? So again, it goes back to self-discipline. That is my one recommendation, and if you find yourself, just speaking to your listeners.

Darrell: Now, if you find yourself again, crease, I have to commend you. Your transparent is a great example for us. If you, if you again, it goes back to doing a heart set or self-examination. If you find that in any way, you are drawn, excited. Just vivified if you will. Bye. Waking up in the morning. My gosh, I cant check, wat can’t wait to check my phone. You go to sleep with your phone, under your pillow. You there are certain signs. There are certain evidences that, as you examine yourself, there are certain evidences that your heart and your conscious will reveal to you. The child.

Darrell: That will tell you say, wait a minute, this is this is I’m getting too deep into, this is like Christ in the gospels, use the metaphor of, you know, So very aggressive steps. If your right eye offends, you cut it off, cut it out. If your left arm a phase, you cut it off, he’s speaking metaphorically there to the to the extent and the degree that you need to take steps to ensure that your heart does not become corrupted by what can be an innocent tool social media platforms, but it can also become an idol in your life. So we need to be aware of that.

Christi: Very, very great Point sterile. And one thing that I’ve been learning as, I’ve been reading a book by gray Gifford called hearts and habits. He was talking about in there that your habits form your affections. What you do, repeatedly, you want to do and you keep doing and that forms what you love. So the goal is not just behaviorism, you know, changing your behavior, you know, we’re talking about the heart and you’ve brought that Multiple times, we want to change your heart, affections and then you’ll do things that honor and please, the Lord, you know, have habits that are honoring to him and beneficial to others.

Darrell: That’s when you talk about the affections, and that’s one, one of the reasons, I love the Puritans because the Puritans were just brilliant and how they connected our battle with sin with our infections, the as you know, because the Puritans wrote a ton on sin and And, and that’s another thing I love about them is that they took the issue of sin in sanctification so seriously, but you’re absolutely right. This, this all begins with our affections, what is, you know, you’re, you know, what do you really what? Really, that’s why I use the word excited earlier.

Darrell: I did I use that word on purpose because you can tell what what matters to you in life about how excited or not you get about something or someone. And in the case of social media, And we get excited about picking up that phone, we get excited about logging on and see, who’s what’s going on with who, or who sent me a message here who’s DM to me over here, what? The latest even gossip or slander is. I mean, let’s be honest with ourselves, those things excite us. And I think if we do get excited, about those kinds of things than we, that’s a signal to us a very evident signal, very objective evidence that our affections are in the wrong place. Our affections have Become skewed and we have got to be willing to number one acknowledge that and then you confess it because as you mentioned the title of the book, what’s in your heart becomes your habits, they do for better or worse, what’s in your heart, becomes your habits.

Christi: Great, great points. And I think, like, we talk about habits are second nature, the routine. You’re not really thinking about them anymore. So I think what happens with a lot of us is that it’s not a conscious thing. That is we’re making these that we think are time-wasting decisions. They just kind of take over our lives and we’re not even aware of it anymore. And so being able to distinguish, look at your your phone and under the setting speak to her you Check the time you spend on different apps. If you have an iPhone, you can get a good idea of. Oh yeah.

Christi: I actually do spend four or five hours a day on my phone and, you know, three hours are on social media, probably doing nothing but scrolling. And so I think those are helpful gauges of the things that was sometimes were not even aware of some of the ways that I have tried to limit my time on social media, I’ll just delete Instagram once or twice. Weak for my phone, a log in to check messages. Or I’ll just use my, my desktop computer and log in on the, on that way. It’s a little less convenient, but I think if you can put like, a 30-second barrier between you and a social media app, where you have to download it again, log in again, just that little friction window is going to keep you from jumping on it.

Christi: As often you can mute, you can unfollow people, you can turn off notifications, you can That timeouts under the focus feature of a lot of iPhones where certain apps will only let you log into them for a set number of minutes or you know for certain period of time during the day. So those are just some of the things that I’ve tried to do to put some guard rails around my life because I do want to exercise self-control and I think this is a great area, we can do that but there’s also a time when because it’s so pervasive I think we should just flee from it sometimes and not always be having to work so much every day to control those impulses. I don’t know if you have thoughts on that but yeah,

Darrell: I actually some of my own sort of guardrails, as you said, are similar to yours. So, for instance, if you were to look at my phone right now, there’s only one social media app on my phone and that’s Twitter and that’s because I saw have a dual role on Twitter. Obviously, given my role at Grace to You. There’s a social media dimension. My responsibilities there but I also have in comparison to the other social media platforms. I have more of a significant following on Twitter so I’m engaging their more frequently. So that’s the platform that I use most often so. But if you were to look at my phone literally right now you would not see, I don’t have Instagram, I don’t have Facebook, I don’t have Tick-Tock, I don’t have any of those other apps on my phone. So guardrails is exactly what we’re talking about and seaguar trolls and I mean to embarrass you Christi.

Darrell: But again, I just so appreciate. Your transparency here because that’s where it all starts with us. We need to be honest with ourselves where our weaknesses are. None of us is our, you know, Christian superheroes. We don’t walk around with the superhero cape on our on our back was a big see on the, you know, sort of paying it on there. You know, as if we can, just deal with anything, we need, to be honest with our own weaknesses, we really need to do that and I think to the extent that I love your use of the word flee, that’s what we needed to do. So let’s listen. If it just, just be honest with yourself and say, Hey listen, where are you? Am I sanctification?

Darrell: I’m not here yet. I can’t handle having all these apps on my phone. I can’t handle spiritually or in my with regard to my flesh. I’m not there yet. I’m not touring mature enough yet. I’m not mature enough with respect to my self discipline where I can actually handle having access ready access to all these platforms. So here’s what I’m going to do. What guardrail can I put in place for my own? Sanctification will let me delete this. Let me log out of this. Let me put these timeouts in place. So as to help me practically, you know, because sanctification is not like a magic wand. There are practical steps you have to take and as we were talking earlier in our conversation these platforms are not just innocent innocuous.

Darrell: Virtual means to bring people together. There are agendas Behind These platforms now and they’re trying to get into your mind, Into Your Heart, by virtue of these platforms. And you need Be honest with yourself. So, as to be able to say to yourself, well, self know, I can’t have that. So now I’m going to, I’m going to delete you, or I’m going to just totally delete my account all to get together, but we need to do whatever it takes for us to flee and guard our minds and our hearts from things that we know, we’re not mature enough to handle, and, you know, God designed us to be creatures of habit.

Christi: He hardwired or bodies with these systems and they’re good, and they’re a blessing to us that we don’t have to think about brushing our teeth everyday, or driving a car. You know, there’s just things that are second nature that are good in, right? But I think Satan can come in there and use those for evil, and we can get sucked down into wasting a lot of time. I love the verse in Hebrews, 12:1 and 2, or it says, therefore, since we have. So great, a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every Every encumbrance and the sin, which so easily, entangles, us, and let us run with endurance the race set before us. And that encumbrance is kind of what I think of.

Christi: And with social media is it’s just a time-waster, it can be used for good but most often it’s it’s sucking our minutes and hours and I another thing I think if this is a really difficult battle for somebody that maybe you have too much time and you need instead of trying to to always squash these sins and maybe you just need to fill your time with the right things. So you won’t even have the time to go on social media as often if you’re doing the right things. So maybe that should be your focus rather than just squashing the negative things putting on the right things and that’ll just crowd out that extra time that you might succumb to that addiction.

Darrell: Yeah. You know as I listen to you they’re Christian reminded of something. I heard the late dr. R.c. Sproul say in an interview that someone was doing. I think I may have been in another League of Ligonier teaching. Fellow was interviewing him and they asked him. What were his regrets? He says, well you think about how accomplished a person? Dr. R.c. Sproul was but he said to his one regret was that he wasted so much time and see the thing about it. When you look at this to that stat that we talked about Earlier where that website said, well well person will spend more than six years and eight months of their life on social media, that’s 10% of your life and see the things that social media does. So suddenly is that it robs you of time that you can’t get back.

Darrell: It robs. It, it totally robs you of that time that you will never ever get back. Even in the few minutes that we’ve been on here, these are myths that are gone now forever. We can’t turn the clock back and get a do-over. I mean that time is gone. The clock is ticking time is progressing and you really want to whenever God brings about the ends of the end of your days. Do you really want to have is one of your regrets that you Spent nearly seven years of your life on social media. Absolutely not. You don’t want that but the subtlety is see, it’s the subtlety. So when you talk about in Commerce in Hebrews 12, we tend to look at that word and we think the of the more egregious Temptations and weaknesses that a person may encounter.

Darrell: But know the danger in many ways, social media is is more dangerous even than some of those more egregious Temptations. And Lures that we face in the world because of its subtlety. You don’t even realize you’ve waste so much time until it’s too late. So yeah, I appreciate you saying that’s a very key verse let us lay also again lay aside its kind of reminds me of what John MacArthur was talking about earlier. When you regulate your conduct. What are you doing to regulate your conduct or social media so that we have to be honest about that.

Christi: I really appreciate how you said the subtlety because I think that’s always been Satan’s tactic is to subtly subversive influence humanity and I think yeah. I just I love thing about we just have One Life to Live and so much is in the balance. It’s easy to not set our minds on things above and to just kind of get caught up in worldly things and things of this Earth. But when you have your mind set on things above you do realize that every action every decision has Eternal weight behind it that we’re building the kingdom now for all of eternity.

Christi: We’re going to celebrate the victories, but we only have A few short hours to win them. So I think when you you have you live your life with that perspective, you won’t regret it. And I don’t want to, you know, fall into an extreme ditch where there’s no place for this in your life and, you know, have a legalistic standard, but I think we all know that there’s dangers here and I think we need to have a healthy fear of what we’re doing and how to steer away from it.

Christi: So kind of going flowing now into our Entertainment category, similar field similar ways. We have to apply biblical principles. I couldn’t find very much when I was trying to study up on this. There’s not a lot in writing or books on this topic at least that I could find, but I’m curious just from your perspective. Darrell do you have principles for how you choose what entertainment to view and I’m thinking specifically of movies and shows.

Darrell: Yeah. So My travels with Virgil was just thinking Ministries and we travel all over the country, there’s a phrase that I like to use and that phrases that Christians need to learn to what I call exegete the culture we need to exegete the culture. And what I mean by that is that, you know, the word exegesis is, where you take a critical objective. Look at a text of scripture to glean from that text. Every ounce, every iota of true. That is within that text. Well, we need to do the same with the culture.

Darrell: So So, especially with respect to entertainment. So you consider that the Apostle Paul what he says in 1st Timothy, 6:17, he says that. God gives us all good things to enjoy. Okay. Contrast that with what the writer and Ecclesiastes. 5:18 says, he says, here is what I have seen to be good and fitting to eat to drink and enjoy oneself and all one’s labor in which he toils Under the Sun. During the few years of his life, we were just talking about that. During the few years of his life which God has given him for this is his reward. So those are two very positive, encouraging texts of scripture that sound pretty good and it in and of themselves, right?

Darrell: You know. Paul says, God gives us all good things to enjoy. Any clues you ask, these says listen this is your reward from God is good and fitting to eat to drink and enjoy oneself, and all their labor. So those versus sound pretty good in and of themselves, but let’s consider those versus against the backdrop of what the Apostle Peter says, in First Peter 4, verses 1 through 6 where he says therefore since Christ has suffered In the Flesh, arm yourselves, also with the same purpose because he who has suffered and suffered in the flesh. Ash has ceased from sin. So as to now here’s, here’s where the rubber meets the road. So, as to live the rest of the time, see, we were just talking about that. All the years we wasted and all the years of how a few years of life, we may have remaining.

Darrell: He says, so as to live the rest of the time in the flesh, no longer for the lusts of men, but for the will of God. So there you have a balance. I believe a healthy balance. When you look at First Timothy 6:17, Ecclesiastes 5:18 and then look at First, Peter 4, verses 1 through 6, I only read the first couple verses, but but take you through verse 6 in that passage, what you have is a very clear biblical balance. Now we know that. When the Apostle Paul says that God gives us all good things to enjoy that not he doesn’t mean that literally in terms of well everything is good and everything is to our enjoyment. We know that’s not the case but that passage especially in First Peter Or where you have where Peter is talking about, no, no longer living in the flesh, for the lusts of men.

Darrell: And then he on the other side you have, we are the inferences that we are to live for the will of God, that should give you the balance that you need. So that passage in 1st Peter Force, kind of a line of demarcation on how we are to turn away. From those things that serve our fleshly lusts and pursue those things that align with the holy and righteous will of You were just talking about that Christi with putting on and putting off you put on and put off the problem though, is that our nature fights against at? Putting off? I tell you our sin nature is so embedded, even in us as regenerate. Believers is still hanging on, it’s still clutching is still grasping at your heart and your mind to hold on to you and control and direct how you behave to the extent that we don’t want to. Give up those things that feed our sinful flesh. We just don’t, but when you look at First Peter for here, you have know, if your believer, you’re no longer living for the of us of the flesh. You’re living. Now for the will of God, that’s the primary place. I think that entertainment should have in the life of a Christian. If it’s objectively, good in terms of how God defines God’s word defines, what is good fine? Go for it. But if it’s not and you know, when it’s not, You need to, like you said earlier, you need to flee from it, and reject it all together.

Christi: And so much of entertainment is worldly. It’s hard to find entertainment. That is good and, you know, we know that God is a god of creativity and Artistry. And so one way that we are His Image bearers is by being creative and good storytelling and all of those things. But so much of the cultural entertainment is sinful Oil. And so are we being entertained by sin by things that offend God? I think that’s a good thing to be aware of and also God designed us to turn into what we look at. And that goes back to the verse second Corinthians 3:18, but we all with unveiled faces looking as an Amir at the glory of the Lord are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory. So if you’re entertaining, Human is powerful, in that way, because we start to turn into what we View and, and fill our minds with.

Darrell: Yeah, when we talk about guiding principles for choosing, what entertainment to view or listen to, We have to first, determine whether the type of entertainment is biblically good at fitting, it just sort of going back to what we just read in Ecclesiastes. Ecclesiastes 518, is it good in fitting? So what’s the test in other words, okay, does it meet the biblical standard of Philippians 4:8 or your paw? So Paul says, whatever is true, whatever is Honorable whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute if there is any excellence. And if anything worthy of Praise, does the entertainment that you’re exposing yourself to does it meet the test of Philippians 4:8? So whatever entertainment a professor believer, engages or choose to engage in should first and foremost meet that standard. That’s the primary guiding principle, that, Believers must, follow not, and my opinion, every form of Entertainment must be held up against that test and I would do the homework ahead of time.

Christi: I think this is an area where people live with a lot of regret. They watch something and like, oh, I shouldn’t have watched that. And so do your homework ahead of time, know what you’re about to see. You know, those images are powerful and they’re going to stay in your mind forever. So, be careful what you put in.

Darrell: Well, I would like to add one more because we talk about entertainment, let’s not forget the entertainment is also audible, so the Music. You listen to the music. You choose to listen to can also affect you and influence you in in a Biblical way. So if you’re listening to the wrong type of stuff and again, you know, when you are that, you are so but yeah, music as well is it can be very, very a very slippery slope.

Christi: Yeah, that’s a really good point. So different people do have different convictions on entertainment. It’s considered a gray area. There’s no, there’s a lot of Principles biblical principles, we can apply but certain people are more sensitive to certain things. So how would you encourage us to view another brother or sister in Christ who has a different conviction on certain areas of entertainment?

Darrell: Yes, so your question Christi reminds me of something again. I was citing dr. R.c., Sproul earlier but the question reminds me of something else that he said, he wrote a book titled. How should I live in this world? How should I live in this world? And In that book. He addresses that very thing sprawl says this. In that book quote, he says the manipulation of conscience can be a destructive force within the Christian Community legalists are often masters of guilt manipulation. While antinomian has mastered the art of quiet denial. The conscience is a, is a delicate instrument that must be respected. Scroll says, the conscience is a delicate interest instrument, rather that must be respected. Like that.

Darrell: He goes on to say one who seeks to influence the consciences of others. Carries a heavy responsibility to maintain the Integrity of the other person’s own personality as crafted by God. I think that is huge, that is used to consider one who seeks to influence the consciousness of others. Carries a heavy responsibility to maintain the Integrity of the other person’s own personality as crafted by God, when we impose false guilt on others, we paralyze. Lies our neighbors, binding them in Chains where God has left them free. When we urge false innocence, we contribute to their delinquency, exposing them to the Judgment of God. Unquote again, that was dr. R.c. Sproul from his book. How should we live in this world?

Darrell: Now, I’ll just add to that. That encouraging other Christians to not be legalistic in the area of entertainment is definitely a balancing act of you will. But again, that’s why I think it’s so important for us to see it. Team, as a matter of sanctification and not merely, something we partake of with no spiritual purpose or objective. Now, we can show Grace to our fellow brothers and yes, but Grace is not license. It’s not license. Grace is not licensed. If we truly love one another, then we will exhort each other to guard against allowing the entertainment. We consume to take root in us so that it becomes an idol. And we were talking about this earlier that can easily. A happen entertainment can easily become an idol. Under the guise that we enjoy it and find pleasure in it. So we need to be very, very careful to balance that and understand that Grace is not licensed.

Christi: So so helpful and for us just to understand the conscience, like we know that God has placed that in as he’s written his law on her heart, but it’s not a perfect standard for right and wrong and Hebrews 5:14, this verse talks about a solid food is for the mature who because of practice have their senses trained to distinguish between good and evil. So our conscience needs to be trained and Yeah, I think that’s a helpful way to look at this as well that we’re all in that training process. Like you said, it’s a sanctification process and God has created us differently.

Christi: So and I think this is an area to where I’m going to make a general statement, but it seems like women are more sensitive in the area of entertainment than men are generally. So percent for the woman who is in a dating relationship and she how should she interact with entertainment? What question should she asked the guy? What are, maybe potential red flags? Because, you know, if she ends up marrying, this man, he’s going to be the gatekeeper for their home as far as what is allowed in, and this is a big area, just curious what your thoughts are on that topic.

Darrell: Yes. So this is absolutely an area that the man, the woman need to be on the same page about absolutely. I mean, for example, one of the Questions a Woman. They want to ask the man, she is dating, is this okay? To what extent, do you enjoy watching sports either on television or in person, she may want to just pose that question. So, again, not to be legalistic about it, but the extent to which the man is passionate about watching sports, could I emphasize could become a hindrance, especially on Sundays during the NFL season, when he may not want to accompany her to church because his favorite team is playing. So that’s absolutely the question that she may want to pose our area that she wanted, she may want to investigate now, conversely, especially to your point earlier Christi about women in general being more susceptible emotionally, especially to the trappings of entertainment.

Darrell: A man may want to ask a woman who he’s dating. Do you watch reality TV shows? And if so, which shows do you watch and why? Now those questions? Again may seem sort of innocent and innocuous enough on the surface but trust me I’m going to put my Bibble Counseling head on here for a second. Trust me on this, how the man and the woman answers questions like zold will give you insight into who that person really is in his or her heart, they will give you Insight because whatever other reason, whatever other reason you may be attracted to or interested in that person were you to marry him or her. Remember this, I want you, I want you to listen to remember this if you fall into this category, you’re single now. You’re dating. Ting. Remember this. The person you’re going to wake up with every day, regardless of whatever else attracted you’re interested. You and them. The person you’re going to wake up with every day.

Darrell: You’re going to wake up with that person every day, perhaps for many years with who that person is in their heart For Better or Worse, okay? So you may be physically attracted to the person. You may be attracted to the person because of the challenge, they’re good conversation. So whatever. Okay, fine that’s great. Just remember though. To the degree that you are able to delve into who that person is on the inside and the types of entertainment that they like to engage themselves in will tell you a lot about them. You’re going to wake up every day for years with who that person is in their heart was obviously God brings them and matures them out of that. I just want you to remember that in the kind of entertain entertainment that he or she likes to partake of can provide you with a look into who that person Sin is on the inside. And trust me, you don’t want to marry a person. And then later on regret that you didn’t take time to do that due diligence.

Christi: Yeah, powerful that’s a sobering warning and as we know, God knows the hearts. But the what’s in the heart can be manifest on the outside and that’s one of the ways you can get a good gauge on what is going on inside. And I would say, maybe just general red, flags would be if the man is pushing the woman to view entertainment. She’s not comfortable with and saying things like don’t be so uptight. This is fine. That how he understands your sensitivities in that area and Shepherds. You is going to be really interesting and critical for what that future life could look like, is he yeah.

Christi: Is he serving you in that way and deferring. And that’s a scriptural principle. You defer to the person who has maybe the stronger convictions. Are we called the weaker brother and that is how Christ example in his his love. That’s what that looks like. It’s not running. A roughshod over somebody and forcing them to do things against their conscience and that is sin. If you force someone to go against their conscience, that becomes sin.

Darrell: So I was just going to refer back to what we the court I read from from from dr. Scroll where he talked about, you know, not disrespecting how God had wired the other person and they’re in their personality that we need. We need to remember that. What Sproul said we To maintain the Integrity of the other person’s own personality is crafted by God. Now, that’s not a loophole for the other person to not consider or undertake what the woman in this case, not to consider or undertake what the husband may say, for the sake of her own personality. That’s not to say that, but I think you made a great point. And as I listen to you, I’m reminded of First Peter 3:7, where the husband is exhorted to. Live with your wive’s in an understanding way as with someone weaker. So yeah. You bring up a great point. I wholeheartedly concur with that. That’s a great Point.

Christi: Another thing I think you can look for in a guy that you’re dating is, does he have convictions about entertainment, or is he just completely passive in this area? And I think that is the danger is some people just don’t think about this long enough to have those guardrails in place of like, okay, I’m not going to cross these lines and I’m going to Have convictions around these areas so have they thought about it? Do they have a plan? Do they have guardrails in place? Do they have accountability? I think is all really good to be looking for, with the person you’re considering for marriage.

Christi: All right? So Darrell has been such a stimulating conversation. I know we both probably had a lot more, we could share on this, but what resources do you have books articles sermons? Anything on this topic. If the listeners want to just take a deeper dive into this?

Darrell: Yes, I do. So and let me preface. I do have some recommendations but let me just preface before I get to those recommendations. Let me just say that the resources I’m about to recommend may seem to your list has Chrissy to be somewhat out of place. Maybe somewhat disjointed has given the subject matter that we’ve been discussing with respect to social media entertainment, but let me just say to them The reason I’m recommending these resources is that as Christians we are not merely talking about social media and entertainment. As if those topics Were Somehow separate from other aspects of our Christian walk, they’re not separate they have as much to do with our sanctification, in our pursuit of Holiness as does any other element or aspect of our being conformed into the image of Christ. Because really fundamentally, that’s what we’re talking about. How can we use social media entertainment in a way? That doesn’t conflict with that preceptive are being conformed to to the image of Christ. So it’s not just about social media or entertainment as if those topics are partitioned components of Our Lives as Christians. But it’s about our entire worldview because our engagement with entertainment and social media involves our hearts and our minds. That’s what I wonder if your list is, don’t take away anything else. I want them to not forget that how we engage our engagement with entertainment social media, involves our hearts and our minds.

Darrell: So with that said, I have ten books Recommendations. And I’m going to, I’m going to Breeze through these real quickly. Number one first book Is with all your heart, orienting your mind desires and will toward Christ by a correct Troxel. Troxel is spelt ero XEL with all your heart or in your mind desires and will toward Christ s. The Enemy Within subtitle straight, talk about the power and defeat of sin by Chris lundegaard. That last name is spelled Lun, DG aard lundegaard. Third, third disciplines of a Godly Man by archaic Hugh’s. Fourth, the fulfilled family by John MacArthur 5, the gospel and pornography by Russell Moore, and Andrew, T Walker, 6 depression anxiety, and the Christian Life. Subtitled practical wisdom from Richard Baxter that book is by dr. Michael S. Lundy Lun, dy7 is communion with God, by John Owen. Eight is keeping the Heart by John flavell SLA ve L keeping the Heart by John flavell 9 is God’s battle plan for the mind. Subtitled the Puritan practice of biblical meditation by David W, Saxton sa X tion and then lastly is the duty of self-denial by Thomas Watson the duty of self-denial by Thomas Watson. So Is your listeners as a listeners episode. They can rewind and go back a few seconds and get all those titles. But yeah, I thought rotting it off at 10 will hopefully be helpful

Christi: Very helpful and I’ll link all of those in the show notes so they can just click on those and have them right there and I really appreciate how many Puritan authors you included because I’m a Puritan fan as well and just such deep helpful, authors and perspectives on the Christian life, even though a lot of them were written, you know? Hundreds of years ago, it’s still relevant. We’re still dealing with the same heart issues that we always have Darrell, what a what an honor, what a helpful discussion. I’m excited to hear how God’s going to going to use this to help sharpen people and help them to walk wisely, to give glory to God to be a blessing to others. That’s our goal, our motivation. And all of this is not just a change, behaviors to change. Our affections to love the Lord more. Or so really appreciate you, sharing your thoughts, bringing the scriptural principles out and yeah, just excited to hear all God’s going to use it.

Darrell: I’m excited with you Christi. Thanks again for having me on. It’s been an absolute blast. Thanks so much. Or so really appreciate you, sharing your thoughts, bringing the scriptural principles out and yeah, just excited to hear all God’s going to use it. I’m excited with you Christi. Thanks again for having me on. It’s been an absolute blast. Thanks so much.