EP 80

Welcome to the Smiling at the Future podcast. My name is Christi Rose and this is my pursuit to glean practical wisdom on femininity, homemaking, finances, relationships and singleness from the God fearing men and women in my life. Hope you enjoy this journey with me as we learn to smile at the future.

Hello everyone, Welcome back to the podcast. My guest today is Lance Quinn, and not only is he on the board of ACBC, which is the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors, but he has also been a faithful pastor for many years. And so brings to this discussion of bearing one another’s burdens A wealth of experience of living this out, not only as a biblical counselor but as a pastor and shepherd in the local church. I know you will be encouraged by hearing his heart on this practical area of Christian living. So without further ado, here is my conversation with Lance Quinn.

Welcome aboard. Lance, would you be so kind as to give the listeners some background on who you are and where God has you in life and ministry?

Yes. So good to be with you Christi. Thank you for that. I am Lance Quinn. I have been in vocational Christian ministry for several decades now and I love being in the ministry ever since I graduated from college. I then went to seminary and trained for ministry, and I’ve been in ministry ever since. I am currently the Executive Vice President of the Expositor Seminary in Jupiter, FL, which is a church based form of theological education. Where there are 12 churches around the country who have a seminary on their campus that connects with all the other campuses where live teaching is being done. It’s a little bit different than maybe going to a free standing seminary and sort of moving away and going there and training and then going elsewhere, these 12 churches. Are all around the country, as I said, and they all comprise the Expositors Seminary, and I have the privilege of leading the seminary in that way. And then I’m also one of those on the pastoral team at Grace Emanuel Bible Church, which is the hub campus of the Expositor Seminary, which is here in Jupiter, FL. So that’s a little bit of who I am.

And you are also a biblical counselor. An interesting fact, Lance, is that you have a library of close to 25,000 books, and you can remember close to everything you read. So I think that’s pretty fascinating. So if anyone needs book recommendations or has a topic and they’re trying to find a book on it, Lance is your man. But today’s conversation is about bearing one another’s burdens, which is such an essential part of the Christian life. Many of us are already doing this to some extent, but I hope that the questions that we cover today will just prompt people to add fuel to the fire and cause them a little more deep thought and maybe a little more intentionality about how they practice this in their life and within the body of Christ.

So to start us off, I’m going to read the passage in Galatians where this is brought out in scripture. It’s Galatians, 6 verses, one through 5.

Brethren, if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, each one looking to yourself so that you too will not be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens and thereby fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But each one must examine his own work, and then he will have reason for boasting in regard to himself alone and not in regard to another, for each one will bear his own load.

So we’re going to start going through some questions of how does this look like? How do we live this out? So can you can you shed some light on that Lance? What does the Bible say in regard to bearing one another’s burdens and help us understand this passage a little bit better?

Yeah, great. Great question. I think one of the things that I say at the outset here is that I love the one another’s, you know, without duplicates, Christi, like love one another, which is mentioned several times in the New Testament, but without such duplicates. There are at least 61 anothers in the New Testament. So we’re really talking about that life on life relationships that we share with one another. Some of them is one another’s. Some of them are not commanding us to do something like love one another, but it’s actually telling us who we are with one another, like we are members of one another. But the vast majority of them are commands about what we should do with and toward one another, and this one is clearly. A hugely important one, bear one another’s burdens there in Galatians 6. Two.

But I think it would be good actually maybe to go in a little bit of reverse order, because it says in verse five of Galatians 6, for each one will bear his own load. So there is a kind of complementary nature to the bearing of one another’s burdens. It’s not as though someone would say something like this, you know, I’m just going to sit back and expect everyone to bear my own load, you know, my burdens. I’m going to just wait until the body of Christ sort of comes alongside me, comes around me, and I’m going to be a little bit inert, You know, I’m not just going to sort of wait until people start meeting my needs. Coming alongside my my burdens, my my challenges, Paul gives what I think is the beautiful blending, the balance of saying in verse five, each one, each Christian will or should or must bear his own load. And I thought a lot about that. Why does he say that at the end of a passage, we’re at the beginning? Verse two, he says, bear one another’s burdens. And thereby fulfill the law of Christ. Well, I think he’s trying to tell us that we have this beautiful balancing relationship to 1st be responsible to bear our own load as Christians.

But at times, even trying to bear our own load can become backbreaking. It can become challenging because we were never designed in the body of Christ. To do everything for ourselves, we must bear our own load. Yes, as much as we can, and as much as we can do it in the power of the spirit. And yet there are times that life’s challenges, life’s hurts, life’s puzzles don’t give us the opportunity to figure out everything on our own. And we need the help of others. And according to Galatians 6. It’s not even just trials and travails. It can also be temptations. And according to Chapter 6, verse one, if anyone is caught in any trespass, that word trespass is per Optima. It’s a it’s a kind of a falling into a sinful ditch, as it were. Something that maybe you weren’t even sort of. Looking to do, you know it’s sinful, but you you got caught up in it. And he says you who are spiritual, which means nothing other than just a fellow Christian. The context and the book and the rest of the New Testament just makes it very clear that the the person who’s spiritual is just simply someone. It’s another synonym for a Christian. You, who are fellow Christians, restore such a one. Who’s fallen into this? Sin ditch, and you do so in the spirit of gentleness, each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted as they were, and they trespassed in the sinful issue, whatever it may have been. And in a spirit of gentleness, you got to help that brother or that sister when they are in need of your help, so that. You are helping them because at some point, even though you’re looking to yourself not to fall in the same ditch, you might at some point because it says so that you 2 will not be tempted. But we of course are, and sometimes we fall into the same ditch. And when we do, we’re going to need their coming to us in a spirit of gentleness. And I think that may actually be why Paul says bear one another’s burdens and thereby fulfil the law of Christ. The law of Christ is really the law of love. For if anyone thinks he’s something like, I can handle it, I can deal with this. I don’t need somebody else. But we need to be humbly saying, wait a minute, I’m not something, I’m nothing. If I think I’m something the Bible says right here, he deceives himself and I must rather look to others to come alongside me to help me examine myself. And I’m almost always doing that because verse four says, But each one must examine his own work and and if he’s doing well, he can’t boast in it. And he certainly can’t boast in regard to himself alone and not in another. No wonder we have to bear our own load. But there are times when we need the burden bearing of others. That’s what I think this passage is, is getting AT. And so this particular one another bear with one another or bearing the burdens of one another, is so sweet and soft because it’s the body of Christ coming together. To help fellow Christians, not just when they’re down and defeated and discouraged, but when they’ve actually sinned and they need the body to come around them. And sometimes it’s just a one-on-one gathering with another friend who’s seen this person in their sin and they come alongside them and say, let me help you with that sin, You’ve fallen into a ditch. Let me help you knowing that at some point. It could very well be that that person down the road is helping me because I’ve fallen into the ditch and I need their help. They need to bear my burden.

Thank you for explaining that in detail and and how that apparent paradox there of bearing our own load and yet called to bear one another’s burdens. Are there other passages in the New Testament besides Galatians 6 which speak of our need for burden bearing towards believers? How does this relate to the other one another’s in the New Testament?

Great question, too. Yes, there are actually about four other places in the New Testament that use that same idea of bearing one another’s burdens or bear with one another. Used a bit differently. And. In terms of each context, but Colossians maybe. If those who are listening by podcast or are sitting somewhere. Not driving of course. But if they’re sitting somewhere and they have their Bible open, they could turn to Colossian Colossians chapter 3. Because in Colossians and Colossians chapter 3, verse 13, this same burden bearing is is listed there. Chapter 3, verse 13 bearing with. One another and forgiving each other. Whoever has a complaint against anyone, just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Now that changes it up a little bit, doesn’t it Christi? Because it it’s now talking about sort of the after effects maybe of coming alongside and bearing someone’s burden. Maybe that burden has become some kind of burden between 2 believers. A kind of sindet, an issue of falling away from each other and some argument or tenseness or whatever it may be. And so this is, this is another kind of bearing with one another. And by the way, depending on your English translation, I’m reading from The New American Standard, but there are other English translations that even use things like to endure, to endure with one another, or to put up with one another. And we don’t often think about that in the body of Christ. But believe it or not, because even though we’re Christians, we love the Lord. We also have remaining sin in our lives. And we’re going to mess up. We’re going to do wrong things. We’re going to say wrong things. We’re going to be hurtful toward one another. And when those times come, we’re going to need the forgiveness of others. Perhaps even my sinning against that person. And so I’ve come to them. I’ve sought their forgiveness, and the two couplings of the bearing with one another and forgiving each other probably is mentioned there because the putting up with or the enduring is that we’re going to sin against each other a lot. And when we sin again, maybe it could be in a marriage relationship, Maybe it could be in a household context with. Moms and dads and kiddos, or maybe even just in the local church where there’s going to be sins of the tongue or sins of of word and deed that that make relationships tough. They they, they make them hard. And if I don’t have that burden bearing spirit of forgiveness, I’m going to have a tough relationship. With that person and and they to me. So I think Paul is using a Colossians there a burden bearing in a different context than Galatians 6, but it’s a key relationship because it’s tied to the idea of forgiveness.

The twin Epistle to Colossians is Ephesians, of course, and the podcast listeners could turn over there to Ephesians chapter 4, Ephesians Chapter 4 verse. Two, and this even has another kind of context to it, with this bearing the burdens of one another. And here in Ephesians 4/2 it says with all humility and gentleness, which is what Galatians 6 says, that that idea of gentleness and with patience and the NASB, instead of saying, you know, bearing the burden of it, it actually uses that word, tolerance. Showing tolerance for one another in love. So in some other translations it actually uses the word bearing with one another in love. So, same word, same idea, but here it adds, I think so beautifully showing tolerance for one another in love. Being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Why? Because verse four says there is one body, so we’re all the way. I like to say it Christi, is there are two aspects of this for us. In the body we are all individuals, so there’s an individuality among us all. Different gifts, different ways of reflecting the heart of Christ, different ways of. Showing how you can love one another. So we all have an individuality among us. But because we’re one body, there is an indivisibility. And that is, yes, we’re different, but we’re also a part of the one body. So there’s individuality, but there’s indivisibility. And the key is love. The key is love. And you know, it’s interesting. Maybe we don’t. We need to turn there for the sake of time, but the Ephesian believers who are commanded to show tolerance for one another in love in the sphere of love. Jesus speaks to them in Revelation chapter 2 verses two to seven. And what he says about them is quite interesting. He writes through the pen of the Apostle John and he says. I appreciate the fact this is my paraphrase. I appreciate the fact that you are not bearing with false doctrine. So it’s it’s the same word. It’s that same bearing with and he’s saying with the negative here you’re not bearing with those who are teaching sound doctrine. And for this I commend you, but then he says this, but I do have something against you. You have lost your first love. Now if you tie that to the Ephesians 4/2 passage that you and I ought to show tolerance or bear with one another in love, they did the right thing by saying we cannot stand false doctrine. But they had lost their first love of Christ himself. And I think sometimes when we lose our first love for Christ, it also tarnishes and damages our love for one another. And because of that, the pen of John tells us through Jesus being the the messenger, I think of all of these seven churches, he’s saying you got to recapture. You got to repent and recapture your first love. And when you do, you’ll start to minister not just to Christ by loving Him more, but you’ll be able to minister to each other as Ephesian believers, so that you have recaptured even the idea of. Putting up with or tolerating one another in love.

And then there’s one other. Romans 15 one, Romans 15 one, And this one, I think Christi is so important because it’s in a context that’s talking about the strong and the weak. I mean, if this is ever a place for the body of Christ to be careful, it’s here. With these strong and weak Christians trying to flaunt either their liberties or the damage of those who are saying please don’t do that, don’t flaunt your liberty. I’m weak and I I can’t take that. No wonder in Romans 15 one Paul says Now we who are strong ought to bear. There’s our word to bear the weaknesses of those without strength, and not just please ourselves. Each of us is to please his neighbor for his good, to his edification or his building up. And then he gives the ultimate example Christ Himself. Verse 3. For even Christ did not please himself, but as it is written, the reproaches of those who reproached you Speaking of God the Father fell on me Speaking of Christ. So the very example that Paul gives here is look at Christ. He didn’t even please himself. So if you’re one of the strong in the Roman Church, you have to bear with the weaknesses of the weak. Now maybe the weaknesses of the weak are things that the strong have liberty to do, but because they don’t want to injure the weak persons, they are as strong persons able to give up their liberties and not flaunting such liberties so that they can come alongside the weak believers. And bear with them by saying I’m giving up such liberties for your sake because I don’t want you to stumble. So I think these passages, Ephesians 4, Revelation 2, Colossians 3, Romans 15 one and following and Galatians 6 two give this beautiful tapestry of burden bearing in the body, with all different contexts, all different principles being used to really give us the one point and that is we have a responsibility to bear with one another in the body of Christ.

That was beautifully said, Lance, And so helpful as we think through this that it’s love covers a multitude of sins. And of course we know that that doesn’t negate addressing sin in someone’s life. And you know, that’s what love is, is coming alongside and exhorting in that way when needed. But then there’s also the little annoyances and things that are just things that that get under our skin that we we don’t need to. Let that affect our relationship or our care, our love for that individual, and how Christ does that with us all the time, loves us so perfectly, despite all of our weaknesses.

So what are what are the types of burdens we should help other Christians to bear? And how long do we help bear such burdens? It’s easy to bear a burden for a short time, but then if someone has a burden that’s extends years, you know that requires endurance. So how do we think through that? And can you give some practical examples?

Oh, that’s so good, because I like the practicality of trying to help fellow believers, because I need the help. I need the practicality explained to me by those who love me and care for me. And so and I’d love for you to jump in and help me if you can think of some others too, because I’ll probably certainly leave you know, some very practical things out. But there’s a couple of things that I think of maybe, I don’t know, I’ll just sort of rattle them off as I think of them and and then you, you help me with your wisdom.

I think prayer first of all, first and foremost, you can do some burden bearing of fellow believers. And usually both the easiest way and the most exalted way is by they’re asking you to pray for them. I mean, how many times Christi have you and I been said by some other believer to pray for them? And we say we will and then it goes right out of our minds and we end up at either some point never remembering to do it or we’re laying in bed one night and we’re thinking, I told them I would and I have forgotten for these hours or days or weeks. And then I feel so ashamed of myself that I said I would do something and then I, you know, didn’t follow through. And so I just right then and there, even if you haven’t done it when you said you wanted to do it, just immediately start bearing their burden by praying, you know, directly for them. So I think prayer and and often I try if they asked me to pray if I can and if the circumstances are allowable, I try to pray for them right there. I’ll just say can I pray for you, You know, right now, even even if it’s you know in a crowd and you just are you know your mouth to their ear and and and you’re just praying. And just even if it’s a two to three sentence prayer And as long as you’re genuine with it and you’re not just saying, hey, I’ve got to do this because I know I’m going to forget later. And so I won’t be able to say that I’m praying, you know, that person and that I did. But I think sometimes when they say pray for me, they would want you to pray for them right then and there. And of course I do have that because I’m a pastor. And a lot of people, you know, look at us a little bit differently because they think we’ve got some kind of, you know, byline right to heaven, you know, that, you know, normal joke doesn’t, which of course is not true. But I like to pray for them as soon as I can and then when I remember them. So I think that’s that’s a great one.

I think biblically counselling them, we mentioned that, you know, the biblical counselling movement. So whether it’s whether it’s something very systematized and organized, like biblical counselling might be in some circles, or just a wise person giving others in their burden, bearing of them wise counsel about what they’re going through. So going right to the scripture, I think another one is maybe even just physical help. Sometimes people are wanting their burdens borne by physical help. Let’s say an older person raking leaves, you know, doing what you can to to getting them groceries, you know, making a meal. I even think of things like writing a card, writing a note, sending a text and an e-mail, whatever helps them know that you’re wanting to come alongside them. Physical help, spiritual help. I just think those are Ways and Means. Perhaps not just biblical counselling, either in the formal or informal sense, but maybe just a Bible study together. Just kind of, you know, let’s do a Bible study together about either burden bearing in general or the particular burden you’re carrying. Let’s go to the scripture if we can.

I even think another way of bearing someone’s burden. It may not always be what they think, but accountability. And sometimes, I think, Christi, there are people who want us to bear their burden, but they want us sort of like that. Galatians 6. We talked about bearing it so that they don’t have to. We we, we want to say I want to come alongside you to help bear your burden, but I don’t want to bear it alone on your behalf because verse six you know five and six talk about the fact that you need to bear your own load. So let me hold you accountable to how you’re doing. And that means asking them when you talk to them, good accountability questions that they know are coming.

I also think of maybe something like this other solid Christian books. I’m kind of known as the book man where I say if someone came up to me and said, you know, I I need you to burden, to burden bear my my lack of assurance my my lack of of knowing if I’m really in Christ, how can I know that I’m assured that I’m that I’m known and loved by him. I like to say there are some books I want you to consider reading. And so I’ve memorized three to five books that I want to say, why don’t you start out with this one? And sometimes, because I love to minister to people, I will, I will buy the book for them. And I will say, now, look, I didn’t do this to manipulate you, but I did do it to show you how important it is. So I wanted to use some of my funds so that you wouldn’t have to #1 and #2. I want to show you the level of importance that I share with this author about this matter you’ve asked me about. And so I want to give this to you as a gift, and I want you to start reading. Why don’t you read Chapter one? And I’m going to hold you accountable the next time we meet or the next time we talk, I’m going to ask you, let’s go over chapter one. What did. What did you make of that? What are, what are things that stood out to you there? I even encourage them. Highlights and sections underline phrases right in the margins. Just just write your book up and and look for things that just really impact you. And then I’d say probably at the end. And then I want to hear maybe some things you thought of.

I think of service in the local church. I think of the idea of sometimes people are wanting us to bear their burdens. But Christi, they’re hardly if at all serving themselves in the body of Christ. Sometimes I think they may have burdens because they’re not serving in the local body, and we ought to just really encourage them. Now look, come with me. And sometimes not just as a pastor, but sometimes I’ll take them with me wherever I’m going. And I’ll say let’s go over here and minister to this older person. And I know you know this because you I’ve seen some videos and even in person beautifully playing the harp. And I just think that’s so beautiful an instrument and sometimes even just going to an older person’s place. Recently a Hospice situation where there was this beautiful harp playing and it was so ministerial in the life of the person, they had tears coming down their cheeks. You know, that’s a kind of burden bearing. I mean, this person is within days or weeks or months perhaps of looking into eternity and that is a local church ministry and I see that as a kind of burden bearing. I don’t know. Do you have any ideas yourself of some things that I haven’t thought?

Yeah, and I just want to comment. I think that I love how so many of the things you brought out are spiritual in nature. They’re bearing with the sins, the fears, the anxieties of the person. Because I think initially when I think of bearing burdens, I think of. Making meals, helping someone clean a house, helping babysit their kids, it’s all very practical in nature. And while there is that element, there is the I think the heaviest loads are the ones of the heart. And so helping to cheer someone’s heart, give them hope, encourage them that way, is a huge way that we can help lift that burden from that person’s heart, I think.

For me, and we’ve talked and I’ve talked about this before on the podcast, being a a listening ear is another way to bear a burden. A lot of people just need someone to share their burden with, and that alone will help lift the burden. They won’t have it bottled up anymore. They can share it with you and then you can pray for them. I’ve been thinking a lot about that. Just the the blessing of being a listening ear, asking questions. Following up with that person, showing that you did really listen. You weren’t just sitting there, you know, glazed over and letting the monologue at you, but you were actively listening. And it’s a dying heart in our society because we’re so self-centered. We just want to, we want to share what we want to share. We want to talk about listening without feeling like I have to always interject, but just ministering to them in that way. Dietrich Bonhoeffer. Wrote some on that as well, and he has a book and I’ll link it in the show notes where he has a whole chapter on the art of listening and how that’s a way to minister to others.

So how do you know if you become aware of a need within the body of Christ or with friends or family? How do you know if you should be the one to bear that burden to meet that need?

Boy, what a great question. It it is somewhat difficult I would think that at times when you see so many needs, you know you you might be in a a local church body with hundreds if not thousands of people or maybe just a few. When you see more persons than less you can get overwhelmed because you’ll see all these needs. And so you you sort of start saying to yourself, well, I mean where where do I jump in and how do I, how do I pick and choose? You know, I don’t want to play favourites and and so I think the first thing to do is just say something like this, Lord use me, just use me. And I think what the word does providentially is that he puts you in the path of burdens that you begin to see so easily, and persons who are carrying those burdens so heavily. And when you are praying about being a burden bearer, you are able to see so many things that you didn’t see before because you weren’t constantly looking at self. You were focusing on being an other centered person. And I find that the more you think about bearing the burdens of others, the easier it is to see their burdens.

Now, of course, the reverse could be true, where people see about Christi Rose or Lance Quinn. Boy, it’s easy to get them Johnny on the spot to do something for me. Or it’s easy because they seem to be so kind and friendly and available. And sometimes, yes, I think, manipulatively speaking, people can take advantage of you, and I think that’s where you and I have to be. To borrow Jesus phrase from a completely different context, we need to be as sly as serpents, but as harmless as those we need to be careful of. Is this person sort of saying and doing these things because they’re not wanting to bear their own burdens, or they just know you’re a sort of a cheap target where you know they can get you to do things for them that they want done versus, you know, a harmless dove like response where you and I can’t see the motives of the human heart. We can’t see into people’s souls and know what they’re thinking. And hey, this is manipulation or no, this is genuine. So we want to be as sort of skillful and cunning as a serpent, but as soft and pliable as a sweet dove, so that we’re leaving it up to the Lord to determine what we’re doing and how we’re doing it with others. And we’ll leave it to him to determine how they’re doing it, how they’re taking it.

And if it is manipulation, Yeah, maybe at some point I could point it out to them. Hey, I just hope that my help of you is is not something that you’re sort of taking advantage of others. If it comes to that, you need to swallow hard. But you can say, you know, I may have noticed something and I need to talk to you about it. I love you and I love helping to meet your needs, but I want you to know that I don’t see a lot of reciprocating with you turning around as you are helped in helping others yourself. And remember, Christi, that the actual word, one another is only one word in the Greek text of the New Testament and it’s the word ale, lone, ale lone. And it’s actually a term of reciprocation. In other words, yes, I I can look for others to minister to me, But as I’m being a ministry from others to me, I’m looking at other needs with which I could meet. I want a reciprocating relationship in the one another department. I know I have a burden and I need it to be borne by others. But what I’m doing is not always looking for that to come to me, but I need to go to others. And so you could point out to these brothers and sisters, Look, I love meeting your needs. I love to reach out to you. I want to be a burden bearer for you. But let me ask you, how are you doing in your burden bearing of others? How are you doing? Are you bearing the burdens of others just as I’m helping to bear your burden? I think that’s a legitimate question.

Yeah, and I. I think when someone is burdened, they may not feel the capacity to bear someone else’s burden, but the verse he who waters will himself be watered. It’s the idea of God blesses us when we bear the burdens of others. It’s not in our own strength. We’re just the conduit of the Lord’s power. So if we’re abiding in Christ, we are connected to Him walking in the Spirit He gives us the strength to. Help others even when we have our own burdens. And sometimes that makes us more effective in marrying others burdens because we’re in it too. We’re in the battle together and we can understand what that burden feels like when we’re walking alongside them.

Very well said. That is so true and I I appreciate that angle because I. I hadn’t thought of that and I hadn’t said that, but you’re you’re absolutely right. And that’s the heart, I think, of the reciprocity of the body. And you know, our first go to is we’re casting our burdens on the Lord. We’re called to do that. So you can ask the person too. Are you have you gone to the Lord first ’cause it can be easy to go to a physical person for help right away instead of taking the burdens of the Lord, praying about it, asking him for wisdom and guidance. And then I think the second step of that is to seek help from the body, because the Lord gave us the body for that purpose. This is part of his design for how how we are to live the Christian life, but encouraging them to seek the Lord 1st.

And I think with the area of burden bearing, there’s people that have the gift of mercy. And I think those are especially susceptible to wanting to carry the burdens of everyone. And you can see those people never turning down a request, getting burnt out. And then you can see people taking advantage of that and not wanting to carry their own load, but throwing everything on the other person. So I think if you are someone who would describe yourself as having the gift of mercy, you’re incredibly empathetic and compassionate. I would encourage you to keep in mind a few things. One thing that’s important to remember when you see someone carrying a burden, is that God’s going to give that person grace. Sometimes we look at another person carrying a burden and think, how are they able to bear that? You know, it’s just seems so heavy we can’t even fathom carrying that our our own self. And yet God is giving that person the grace to handle that. And and yes we come alongside and help, but he is He is infusing that person with his grace to help them bear that. Another thing to keep in mind is that burdens and trials are gifts from God. I think we think of them as things we have to do everything we can to get rid of. And they’re bad, and they’re from Satan, but actually they’re from the Lord, and they’re his gifts and his training schools for us. And the only way you learn endurance is by carrying a heavy burden. And so in some ways, God uses burdens to grow us in patience and endurance. So he could be giving that person a specific burden in a specific season to help grow them in that way. And another thing, if you have the gift of mercy, I think it’s important that you keep your gaze on the Lord and His attributes, because you might be tempted to blame the Lord or or question why he’s doing this to this person, or become bitter, embittered against the Lord. When you see the burdens of others and you feel like you can’t meet everyone’s needs, but remember to focus on God’s attributes, His goodness, His faithfulness, His kindness, what he’s doing in these trials, he’s testing that person, and they will come forth as gold, and this is him purging the dross in their life. So just a good reminder with any trial that we’re in, recognizing God has a purpose in it. They’re not things that we have to try and get out from under at any opportunity. We can help bear the burden. We can encourage and fuse courage into that person, but if you’re tempted to be just discouraged by the burdens of others, those are maybe some helpful tips to keep in mind when you are interacting with that.

Well, that’s so good. I I that could that could be what you just described so eloquently is is a way of even another podcast. The the idea of mercy and helps, and the grace of God, and the grace of God in trials. And coming alongside people with a kind of mercy and a kind of grace and a kind of help that can infuse them when they in turn can turn around and help the hurting. I I sometimes think, and maybe you do too, Christi. I sometimes think that people have what I might call spiritual gift copping out. They say, well, see, I don’t have the gift of mercy or I don’t have the gift of helps. And so because that’s not my gift, I’ll let the people who have such gifts minister to the body. I’ll be, I’ll be the teacher or I’ll be the this or that. My, my, my challenge to that is, well, if you’re saying, well, I have the gift of teaching, somebody else can, you know, sit and hold hands of people and you know, whatever, but. I asked the question, So are you saying as the teacher, you’ll never teach on this subject? Because if you teach on this subject, you ought to be teaching from a life that’s exhibiting your teaching. And so I like the fact that what we’re really talking about with the one another’s and particularly burden bearing is that it’s a reciprocative act. It’s a reciprocity. So that you and I. Are doing it with and for each other. Whether we think we have the gift of helps or the gift of mercy, we’re just being friends. We are having a true friendship and a friend. Now again, you have to be careful in terms of male and female relationships. And yes, that’s all true, but don’t assume that. You’re only ministering to males if you’re a male. You’re only ministering to females if you’re a female. But you can also minister in the body of Christ. You can minister. If you’re a a young man, you can minister to an older lady. If you’re an older lady, you can minister to a little girl or a little boy. I mean, whatever it’s like in the body to serve, you’re doing it because. You see needs, but you also know you will have needs, and the body is to come alongside you. And I I believe that teachers ought to minister mercifully, and I believe those who are merciful ought to teach. Well, how should they teach? I can’t stand up in, you know, a pulpit, or I can’t stand up at a lectern, or I can’t, you know, speak in public. But you are teaching. And you are speaking when they see your life actions, you you are sending a sermon their way because they’re saying look at how she serves, look at how she lives, look at how she comes to meet the needs of others. Those are some of the best sermons I’ve ever seen, if we can put it that way.

Yeah, your life is a powerful testimony. It means you’re not just being a hearer of the word who deludes himself, but you’re being a doer of the word. So how are single women uniquely equipped to help bear the burdens in the body of Christ? Do you have any anything you think you’d like to share with us?

I think Single Ladies, whether young or older, they have, I think, an immense opportunity. Now it’s. Not to say that they ought to spend all of their time, you know, ministering to others they needed, they need to be ministered to, for sure. But I think if they had a little bit more time, a little bit more opportunity to reach out to others because they’re either not caring for their own physical children, their own biological children. Or they’re not necessarily attending to the needs of a of a husband, perhaps, or maybe even their own extended family, although they may incorporate that into their ministry. But if they are, let’s say, young and single, it may afford them a little bit more time and a little bit more opportunity to actually look for need meeting among others in the body of Christ. And that could mean, like we talked about earlier, sending notes, cards, physically driving over, you know, to a shut insurance home, praying with them, talking with them.

I think Christi, you’ve had a background in caregiving, especially for those in their later ages and stages of life. And and so you know how wonderful and how beautiful. And how sacred? We could even use that word, sacred. How sacred it is to minister to people who are lonely, who are at their later stages of life, who are in need of friendship. They they want people to be around them. Can they be at times running off at the mouth with everything that happened, you know, 60 years ago? Of course. Of course. But you know what? Listening to them and showing love to them and caring for them by simply sitting with them, being with them in their context means the world to them. And I think single persons have as legitimate, if not more so an opportunity maybe than those. Who might be married? Who might have a passel of kids, who might have a daunting task just in their own home with their own immediate nuclear family. So I do think that single women particularly, but also single men, single men have great opportunities. I, I, I, I alluded earlier in the podcast with going over and and fixing a faucet, repairing a car. Getting some groceries for an older gentleman in the body or we haven’t even really said much about this Christi. But I really think single persons of whatever age and station in life, they find themselves the opportunity to go and minister to those, not just those in older contexts, but evangelistic opportunities are out there. And I really think that those who might have a little bit more time and opportunity to evangelize others because sheer time is theirs and they can structure their day or structure structure their weekend or looking for opportunities where they might be able to have Co workers over to their home, maybe they can go to Co workers homes. They might have a little bit more of of a freedom to do that and to develop friendships with unbelievers. Now again, we’re going to have to be careful because again, of the gender challenges and whatnot, but I think you can determine ways that a single person female can develop relationships with other females and can show them the love of Christ in evangelistic context by simply being a friend. And sometimes the power of a life engenders a response. And an unbeliever. Why do you befriend me like you do? You know what? Why do you why do you want to spend time with me? Our lives are totally different. You’re in that church over there. Yeah, we got we work together or yeah, you know, we live in the same neighborhood together. But why? Why do you? Why do you want to spend time with me? And of course that’s where you can drive a Mack truck through the door of invitation to be able to say, I just want you to know Christ, you know, do you think ever about spiritual things. Let me tell you what the Lord has done in my life. And the reason why I do it, truth be told is because I want you to see and Savior the Savior that I have. You know, sometimes it’s the power of that serving life, that burden bearing. Especially if there’s something going on, like a catastrophic injury or something in that life where you’re coming and you’re ministering and they’re saying, why are they doing this? Well, because you have a need, #1 and #2. I don’t want you to end your life without knowing Christ. Something like that.

It makes me think of we’re to do good to all men, but especially the body of Christ, but it does include all men reaching out. And I. That’s such a good point, Lance, because I think with singles we are generally more out and about. We’re in the workforce, we’re going to coffee shops, we’re going to restaurants, we’re hanging out with people. You know, that’s a little more freedom and flexibility to be in the world. We’re not maybe more stuck at home caring for the needs of children, so that’s an excellent exhortation there. And also just in speaking with children, I think that that is a unique sphere for single women to help minister to. It’s a little more natural, little more acceptable for a single woman than for a single man to come over and babysit. And so recognizing that that is going to be a huge way to bear the burdens of tired young moms who just lack the energy. They need that help. They need that support from the body. I had on We just covered the Titus 2 Principal a few episodes ago on loving your Children. One of the things that my guest brought out, Rachel, was that you don’t realize until you become a mom how difficult and challenging and then how great the needs are. Once you’re a mom, you’re looking around at the other moms in your life and you wish you could support them, but you are, you know, in the throes of it yourself. And so you don’t have the the capacity from a time or energy standpoint to meet those needs. So I think that was a a good exhortation for single women is we can be proactive in noticing the needs, looking for them, trying to put ourselves in that person’s shoes. I think that’s important and it’s such a good practice because we’re so self focused. It’s so easy to be wrapped up in our lives and in our issues and trials and our singleness, you know, But to be actively focusing outward, seeing the needs of others, what is it like to walk in their shoes? What does that mom feel like who barely got her kids to church today and you know, probably only slept 2 hours last night because one of them was up sick. And and once you just realize that boy, you can be such a support, you can be such an encouragement to that mom. So I think that is a specific Ave. for women to be serving in.

But moving on, and this is kind of, I think on the forefront of a lot of our minds with everything going on in the Middle East and in the world, we are inundated by the needs and the burdens of the world. You know, if we have social media, we have quite a few friends and and acquaintances that way, people maybe we don’t even remember well, but we’re aware of their burdens and needs or their loved ones who have passed away or their trials. And and it can be overwhelming to understand what is my responsibility in these spheres. You know, how do I bear the burdens of the world and all these Facebook friends. And then we feel guilty if we don’t reach out, if we see if we’re made aware of a burden. So can you help us think through kind of how we should view all of that? What’s our responsibility in in that? How should we intake the news all of that?

You know, boy, what a great, great question. You’re right. I think that there are so many current events, so many social media outlets that scream for our attention and. We’re in such a world that information is at our fingertips and sometimes it it screams at us to help. And yes, I think there probably are those who are on the sort of helps and mercy side of the equation where they just want to jump at every need. But I would say there’s a spiritual principle that I believe I could defend Biblically. But I’ll just give it as a little, you know, adage. And that is not every need constitutes a call. There are a lot of needs out there. There are needs for humanitarian aid. There are needs for financial buttressing of certain causes and certain persons and certain ministries and. There are 100 ways to respond, but I would say the 1st and most important thing to do is to pray and ask God what you believe he would have you do. And there’s not going to be any sky writing. There’s not going to be. You know, thou shalt do this in in a dream, but I think dousing ourselves in Scripture about bearing one another’s burdens. Praying to the Lord and asking him, what would you have me do? Practically speaking, and I think we’ve really emphasized, as we should, that our local churches are first and foremost. For instance, what is your local church doing in in these areas? Are they involved with missionaries overseas? Are they supporting them not just financially, but are they sending teams? To those places, I think those are wonderful ways that someone could be involved, especially as we mentioned just a moment ago, single persons who might have, as you said, a little bit more freedom to be able to go and even for two weeks, you know, maybe even a vacation time or maybe even a month in the summer or something like that if if they’re able to go and to minister to a a missionary wife. Missionary children to be able to even ministering to them by helping that woman fold clothes for for her loved ones. Being able to send financial aid to these these missionaries that we support, you know, from our local church or the men. Some of these, you know, strong guys can go over and help with physical construction and reconstruction. We have a ministry that I’m aware of in Haiti where there are orphanages that are being built. And so those are Ways and Means as we hear reports from foreign lands and particularly war-torn areas, because those areas are going to have to be built back up. If if a war ends and there is shrapnel all over the place, and there are Ways and Means to perhaps come alongside and rebuild cities and and rebuild areas that have been war-torn, perhaps the Lord would have us do that.

But not every need constitutes a call for you and me, either individually or as a local church, to do what I say. Often it seems people do, even churches. It’s like the man who jumped on the horse and rode off into all directions. I mean, we can’t, we cannot meet all the needs of everything that’s out there. But what we can do is pray for discernment. Pray that the Lord would give us ways discerningly to reach out to others when we are made aware, usually through social media, news reports, especially if it’s beyond our US borders. But being careful? Maybe asking for advice of your church leadership? Asking your elders. Asking the men who lead that local church if you should be involved in some way. Ask for their advice. Ask for their counsel. If you just sort of leave and do things on your own, you might find yourself in harm’s way. And so get involved with your missions committee at your church. Get involved with those in your church who’ve had some experience, maybe in a particular country, maybe with a particular missionary family, and do your best to be discerning and perhaps in the cacophony of noise in the news reports of all of these needs out there. You and your church can pray as either a single person or as a married couple or family who are wanting to do something because you see these war-torn areas or these great UN evangelized people groups of the world. And perhaps the Lord’s going to call you to that and you’re going to do it the rest of your life. Or you can do it in spot duty. However you do it, be discerning, be prayerful, and ask your church leadership for guidance all along the way.

Yeah, really good points, Lance, and for myself, even just the intake of news. I just don’t find it helpful. Different people have different capacities for that, and we’ve talked about that a little bit before on different episodes. But maybe knowing all the needs, being aware of every new story is not what you’re able to do and to manage well, and maybe it’s just causing fear, anxiety in your heart. And so for me, I have informed people in my life who know what’s going on in the world, and they tell me what I need to know. And I I’ve kind of unplugged from the news for the past year plus, and my life hasn’t changed very much because of it. And I’m a happier person. So I I I think there’s a lot of wisdom in that.

The information overload can, I think at times ’cause people great confusion, Who to believe, who to assess who’s going to help us form a kind of strategy. And if you just listen to everybody and you’re constantly, you know, taking in all of this, it can be so confusing. And what you and I know is that there’s tons of disinformation out there. Things that aren’t true, news reports that aren’t valid, places and people and things that are being reported on or speculated about that are actually not that way. And Christians can often send money, help, or go themselves to places, and they can get in real serious trouble if they’re not careful. And like you just said, maybe some way of doing it is limiting your information sources, your news sources, and doing so with a kind of discernment that you’re not just believing one side or, you know, one area or one news report, but you’re actually looking around for others. And that’s where the body of Christ may be able to to to help. Because there are a lot of very smart and discerning people who can help us determine how to meet needs and bear the burdens of others in very skilled and discerning ways.

Yeah, that’s helpful. And I think just the emotional burden of it all can be too much to bear. And So what you focus on will be magnified in your life. And if you’re obsessed over what’s going on in the world and focusing on the the news stories, then that’s going to be what takes over your thoughts and your heart. And we are to fix our minds on things above. We know that God is sovereign. We can pray he’s called us to do that. But yeah, there is a a limit of what we’re able to do just on a global scale to meet the needs of others.

So what if you’re the one that has the burden and that you need help bearing a specific burden? Do you have advice for how someone goes about just seeking help, asking for help?

So that’s a great question and I’ll I’ll be brief with my answer because I think it comes down very simply to a few easy but challenging principles. Here’s what I mean. Be humble….